Pink is Called to the Carpet to Account for the Past

Given all that Pink. There are some things I can neither forgive, nor forget.

1. Your long sordid, sappy affair with Barbie. I could have forgiven the boa as youthful extravagance. But the Corvette? That was just silly.

2. Your insistence on having a role in every product manufactured. Really? Pink bicycles? Pink hammers? Pink cameras? Pink plungers? Really. It's not all about you.

3. Some really, really bad and quite regrettable one-night-stands with satin and sequin. I can understand one perhaps, but both? The less said about this the better. Let's move on.

4. Your brief flirtation with hair dye. I think you owe us all an apology.

Ok. I just felt if we are going to build a new relationship based on mutual sophistication and a modern sensibility, better to honest about our past.